What's A Wanda?
by BouncingBall
Summary: When Timmy upsets Wanda he wishes she forgot the whole incident ever happened. However as Cosmo grants the wish by himself, it doesn't quite go to plan! Wanda ends up forgetting a lot more than Timmy planned. It's up to him and Cosmo to help her! Hmm...
1. Chapter 1 Not So Smoothie

Disclaimer: I don't own FOP! The characters belong to Butch Hartman, I'm just borrowing them for a fun non profit story.   
  
Enjoy! Please R&R!  
  
What's A Wanda?  
  
Chapter 1 - Not So Smoothie  
  
[Timmy and Cosmo are sitting in his bedroom with a range of fruits sitting next to a blender. Their eyes flick from the food to the appliance, and twinkle with excitement. Wanda poofs in looking very frustrated and tired.]  
  
Wanda: (annoyed) Grrrrrrrr!   
  
Cosmo: Bad day, lampchop?  
  
Wanda: You don't know the half of it! That Jorgen said I need to get in shape, because apparently [imitates Jorgen] Ma puny fairy body iz not doin all it shood and this affecting ma magik. [back to normal voice] I need to train harder in order to improve my powers, apparently they're not reaching their full potential. Huh! The nerve of that fairy!  
  
Cosmo: On the brightside, your Jorgen impersonation is great! If this God parent job collapses, you could always go into comedy!  
  
Wanda: I'm not sure if you're trying to make me feel better or worse.  
  
[The fairies are distracted by Timmy setting up the blender, but the lid is missing. He shrugs and begins inspecting the fruit.]  
  
Timmy: (innocently) Hmm.....what should I do with all this stuff? What could I possibly make if I combined it all....  
  
Cosmo: Panda pants?  
  
Timmy: Panda pants?!  
  
Cosmo: You know, pants for a panda, pandas' butts must get cold!  
  
Timmy: Ummm yeah. But I was thinking more along the lines of...SMOOTHIES!  
  
Cosmo: YAY! FRUIT-A-LICIOUS GOODNESS!  
  
[Timmy and Cosmo begin to eagerly chuck fruits into the blender. Timmy is seconds away from flicking the on switch...]  
  
Wanda: STOP!  
  
[They look up to see why Wanda has disrupted their fun]  
  
Wanda: You know I really hate to rain on your parade -  
  
Cosmo: Then don't!  
  
Wanda: (concerned) Ahem...As I was saying. I don't think that's a good idea Timmy, you haven't put the lid on the blender and when you turn it on the -  
  
Timmy: (laughs) Wanda...Wanda...Wanda, have faith in me! I know what I'm doing! Relax!  
  
Wanda: Timmy, I've had a really bad day and am not in the mood to argue. Please just listen to me about this, it's not a good idea.  
  
Timmy: Maybe you're right. The outcome of what might happen next may be extremely irresponsible and immature...  
  
Cosmo: But most likely HILARIOUS!  
  
Timmy: He's right!  
  
Wanda: Timmy - NO!  
  
[Timmy flips the switch and sure enough, the fruity mixture is splattered all over the walls and all over Wanda, who happened to be floating in an unlucky spot at the time. Cosmo and Timmy blink for a few seconds before bursting into hysterical laughter at her expense.]  
  
Timmy: (between laughs) You...you..look...like...a...a...giant smoothie!  
  
Cosmo: And...and...the funniest thing about it is, you can't tell what's smoothie and what's your hair!  
  
[This makes them laugh harder, apart from Wanda, who is anything but amused.]  
  
Wanda: (through gritted teeth) Timmy...  
  
Timmy: I think she said my name, but I wasn't too sure 'cos all the smoothie on her face slurred her words!  
  
[Cosmo and Timmy laugh even harder. Wanda screams in frustration. Suddenly the laughter comes to a halt]  
  
Wanda: TIMMY! I AM SO MAD AT YOU! You didn't listen to a thing I said, now your room is flithy, and look at me!! [she gestures to her smoothie covered clothes]  
  
Timmy: (genuinely sorry) Wanda, I didn't mean to -  
  
Wanda: No! STOP TALKING! It's my turn to talk! Even after this all happened you continued to laugh at me, not taking me seriously at all! WELL I'VE HAD IT MISTER!  
  
[Wanda flicks her wand and she has cleaned herself up]  
  
Wanda: I'm going to go calm down! Now you just think about what you've done!! I AM SO MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW! I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU!  
  
Timmy: But - But -  
  
Wanda: No buts. I told you I'd had a bad day! But you just ignore me and do whatever you feel like. Please Timmy, for once listen to me! Now, Leave me alone!  
  
[Wanda sighs in frustration and poofs herself into her fishbowl. Timmy bows his head]  
  
Timmy: Oh man, I didn't mean to upset her. Will she be OK?  
  
Cosmo: Yeah I think so. I've been married to Wanda for about 10, 000 years and she always gets mad at me.   
  
Timmy: Does she always yell at you and then poof out, refusing to talk to you?  
  
Cosmo: Errrr well she yells a lot! But usually she sticks around 'cos I always apologise before she has a chance to poof out. That's the trick, apologising!  
  
Timmy: Apologise? But I can't! She won't even talk to me!  
  
Cosmo: Well there's an important three letter word you just need. T-I-M-E. Give her some time then go and tell her you're sorry and you didn't mean to hurt her.   
  
Timmy: (deadpan) Cosmo, that's FOUR letters.  
  
Cosmo: It is? [counts on fingers], HEY! It is!  
  
Timmy: But I don't have time! I just feel so bad for everything! If only she forgot all about it and then everything we would be OK....  
  
Cosmo: What? You want her to suddenly forgot this whole nasty incident so you didn't have to apologise?  
  
Timmy: THAT'S IT! Cosmo, your genius is showing!  
  
Cosmo: [covers up body] Aghhh! Where? Where?!  
  
Timmy: No that doesn't mean your - Nevermind. I have a wish! I wish Wanda forgot about everything so we could go back to being friends!  
  
Cosmo: (wary) Are you sure about this? I mean, isn't it easier to just say sorry, that other magical 4 letter word?  
  
Timmy: Actually, 'sorry' has FIVE letters.  
  
Cosmo: It does? [counts on figures] Hey! Right again! Maybe you'll be right about this wish! Good spellers are usually smart people!  
  
[Cosmo waves his wand. There's a poof of bright light. It makes Cosmo dizzy.]  
  
Cosmo: Oh right. You're supposed to wear sunglasses when you do memory erasing wishes.  
  
Timmy: (desperately) Did it work? Did it?!  
  
Cosmo: I hope so. I did it alone though, usually I need Wanda to help out with these spells. I hope nothing went wrong like -  
  
Timmy: (interrupting) Yeah, blah blah blah. Now where's Wanda?  
  
........  
  
[Wanda only poofed herself out of Timmy's room. She's in the hallway disguised as a picture on the wall. She didn't want to go too far away in Timmy came to apologise]  
  
Wanda: Maybe I was too hard on Timmy. It's not fair for me to take my anger from Jorgen out on him....but he did ignore me when I asked him not to do something. And I'm mad at Cosmo for not supporting me! I'm just hurt Timmy didn't listen.  
  
No....no, it was still unfair for me to yell at him. I'll go back in and apologise for yelling at least, hopefully he'll do the same.  
  
[Wanda poofs herself back into the bedroom]  
  
Wanda: Timmy, I -  
  
[The wish suddenly kicks in. Wanda stops talking and drops to the ground. She sits on the floor, looking dazed and disorientated]  
  
Timmy: There you are! [cockily] Are you still mad at me?  
  
Wanda: No, of course not.  
  
Timmy: Hahaha! Cosmo, it worked! What a cool wish.  
  
Wanda: Why would I be mad at you when I have no idea who you are?  
  
Cosmo: (confused) Wanda...?  
  
Wanda: What's a Wanda?  
  
Cosmo: A wrestling move!  
  
Timmy: Uh oh.  
  
......... 


	2. Chapter 2 Flying, Magic and Wanda's Big ...

Disclaimer: I don't own FOP! The characters belong to Butch Hartman, I'm just borrowing them for a fun non profit story.   
  
Enjoy! Please R&R!  
  
What's A Wanda?  
  
Chapter 2 - Flying, Magic and Wanda's Big Butt  
  
[Wanda is still sitting on the floor looking extremely confused. She's looking at her clothes and studying Timmy and Cosmo]  
  
Timmy: Cut it out, Wanda! Stop pretending!  
  
Wanda: Who's Wanda?!  
  
Timmy: YOU ARE!  
  
Wanda: I am, are you sure?  
  
Cosmo: Yes! You're Wanda!  
  
Wanda: And you are....?  
  
Cosmo: COSMO! We've only been married 10,000 YEARS!  
  
Wanda: (confused) We have? Are you sure?  
  
Cosmo: (thinks) I hope I'm sure. I think it was you who said I do. If not, there's been another Wanda waiting at the altar for me for 10, 000 years...  
  
Wanda: I don't remember! I don't remember anything!  
  
Timmy: Oh no! Cosmo, we didn't just erase Wanda's memory from 10 minutes ago, we erased the whole thing.  
  
Wanda: Wait, I'm Wanda you say? Then that means you two erased MY memory?  
  
Timmy: Umm...yes. It was him! [points at Cosmo]  
  
Wanda: [to Cosmo] And when we married, I actually WANTED to marry an idiot?  
  
Cosmo: I'm told I can be very charming. [belches]  
  
Wanda: (deadpan) Are you sure charming was the word you were looking for?  
  
Cosmo: (near tears) Timmy! She's insulting me, but it's not in usual way! SHE MEANS IT! We gotta get her memory back! She doesn't love me anymore!!!   
  
Timmy: Right, I wish Wanda had her memory back!  
  
[Cosmo waves his wand. There's a poof of smoke.]  
  
Wanda: Ummm. Am I supposed to be different? Where are we, anyway? [looks around Timmy's room]  
  
Timmy: Cosmo! It didn't work, what happened?!  
  
Cosmo: I'm sorry Timmy! This wish requires a lot of power, I need Wanda's help! It's easy to erase memory, but not quite so easy to get it back! (thinks) Oopsie! I remember that now!  
  
Timmy: COSMO! You...You...Oh nevermind. We're just going to have to try and get Wanda to remember who she is!  
  
Cosmo: (determined) Right!  
  
[They look over to Wanda who's fiddling with her wand and crown]  
  
Wanda: Hey look! I have wands and wings! And floaty crowny things! What am I? Some kinda fairy!?   
  
[She laughs at the idea, then realises no-one else is laughing with her. Cosmo and Timmy avoid eye contact.]   
  
Wanda: Oh dear, I AM a fairy, aren't I?  
  
[Timmy and Cosmo nod.]  
  
Wanda: Wow....this is so weird. I can't believe this...but I have to, there's nothing else to believe! Does this mean I can fly, like you? Cosbone, is it?  
  
Cosmo: Cosmo. Say it with me. COS-MO. And yes, you can fly. Try it.  
  
[Wanda concentrates as hard as she can, flutters her wings up to Cosmo's height. She does messy little flips and somersaults as she goes.]  
  
Wanda: (excited) Hey! I'M FLYING! I'M FLYING! I'm a natural...  
  
Cosmo: Well it's not your first time!  
  
[Timmy looks surprised at how easily Wanda picked up flying.]  
  
Timmy: Hey, This might be easier than we thought!  
  
[Wanda's wings suddenly stop.]  
  
Wanda: Ahh! I'M CRASHING! I'M CRASHING!  
  
Timmy: I withdraw my last statement!   
  
[Wanda soars to the ground but luckily Cosmo poofs out a large cushion, which she neatly lands on. Wanda looks up smiles warmly at him.]  
  
Wanda: Hey, I think I'm beginning to see why I married you! Costoe!  
  
Cosmo: Cosmo. but yeah! I told you I was charming! (proudly) I even made it a real squishy one to protect your big butt!  
  
[Wanda narrows her eyes. Timmy slaps his head in frustration.]  
  
Wanda: I withdraw my last statement!  
  
Cosmo: What? What did I say? Honesty is the best policy!  
  
Wanda: So, I'm a fairy. Does this mean I do magic and stuff?  
  
Timmy: Yep. Just wave that wand!  
  
Wanda: Hmmm. Well what shall I do with it? I'll start small.   
  
[She looks around the room to find something to try her magic out on]  
  
Wanda: [looks at Timmy] Maybe I can turn that silly pink hat into a more masculine blue colour!  
  
Timmy: (annoyed) It's not silly! How come she forgot everything but her favourite insults??!  
  
[Wanda concentrates and waves her wand. The hat doesn't turn blue, but into a large shoe. It smacks into Timmy's head.]  
  
Timmy: Oww! Careful! I might lose my memory too!  
  
Cosmo: Well nearly right, shoe RHYMES with blue.  
  
Wanda: Oh dear! I'm not a very good fairy! Maybe I should stick to regular human stuff before I try that again!  
  
[She gets to her feet, takes a few steps, then wobbles and slips up. She tries again, but her legs fail under her body like a baby taking it's first few steps. Finally she gives up.]  
  
Wanda: I don't understand! Why can't I walk?!  
  
Cosmo: You're a fairy. Fairies never walk.  
  
[Wanda's bottom lip quivers. She bursts into tears.]  
  
Timmy: Wanda! Don't cry!  
  
Wanda: (through tears) Why shouldn't I?! I suck at being a fairy, I can't fly, I can't do magic....I can't even walk like real people! And I have a faint smell of smoothie on my clothes and I don't know why! I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING AT ALL!  
  
Cosmo: Don't worry! Not knowing anything is a life of ignorance and bliss! It's great!   
  
[Cosmo goes to hug her, she swats him away. He looks hurt.]  
  
Wanda: Sorry, it's just I don't know you.  
  
Timmy: But you do!  
  
Wanda: No I don't! I feel so empty! AND I'M MARRIED TO AN IDIOT! WITH GREEN HAIR! [cries again]  
  
Cosmo: (annoyed) Hey! YOU have pink hair!  
  
Wanda: [stops crying] I do?  
  
[She pulls down a strand of her and studies it]  
  
Wanda: Oh no! I DO! [cries harder] I hate this!  
  
Cosmo: Don't hate it! Pink hair is actually quite 'hip' these days.  
  
[Cosmo lifts Wanda up the shoulders they both float upwards. He holds her in place.]  
  
Wanda: It's not the hair...well the hair is a small part of it....It's just...I don't know anything about me! Who am I?  
  
Cosmo: You're Wanda!  
  
Timmy: Don't worry Wanda, we'll help you get your memory back.  
  
Cosmo: Yeah! We'll remind you of all the fairy things you do!   
  
[Cosmo gently lets go of Wanda. She hovers neatly next to him above Timmy. Cosmo smiles, pleased with himself.]  
  
Wanda: (deadpan) Great! No need to panic, Dumb and Dumber are on the case!  
  
Cosmo: [quietly to Timmy] You should've wished she had forgotten to be mean.  
  
Wanda: I heard that!  
  
Timmy: I should've wished she forgot how to use her excellent hearing!  
  
Wanda: [to Timmy, curiously] Who are you, anyway?  
  
Timmy: Well Wanda. I'll try and explain....  
  
[Wanda suddenly loses her balance and drops from the air, crashing onto Timmy. He lies under her, slightly dazed.]  
  
Wanda: Hmmm. Maybe I DO have a big butt.  
  
..... 


	3. Chapter 3 Jorgen Von Stupid

What's a Wanda?  
  
Chapter 3 - Jorgen Von STUPID  
  
[Timmy and his fairies are in his room. Timmy is next to a blackboard which reads "Mr Turner - Basic Fairy God Parent Training". He has a teacher's long, pointy stick thing (Yes the author is inarticulate, OK?) and an apple on his teacher desk. Cosmo and Wanda are at student desks, with notepads.]  
  
Timmy: So, Wanda, please re-cap on what you have learnt so far.  
  
Wanda: My name is Wanda, Your name is Timmy. I'm a Fairy God Parent who was sent to grant your every wish with my husband Cosfo -  
  
Cosmo: (interrupting) Cosmo.  
  
Wanda: Sorry, Cosdo. So we grant wishes, get into zany and whacky stunts and generally mess around?  
  
Timmy: Yep, that's pretty much it.  
  
Wanda: What a crazy idea! they should call us the "Fairly ODD Parents!".  
  
Cosmo: Ha! WHAT A STUPID IDEA! Sounds like an animated series!  
  
Timmy: And remember, no other human is supposed to see you except me. So everytime another person is at risk of seeing you, you gotta change into something inconspicious.  
  
Cosmo: Yeah. And you make me pancakes for breakfast everyday and give me back rubs every few hours.  
  
Timmy: COSMO!   
  
Cosmo: What? Just trying to make light of a bad situation!  
  
Wanda: Right. OK. I think this is slowly sinking in.   
  
Cosmo: It is? Back rub please!  
  
Wanda: (sarcastically) I lost my memory, not my will to live.   
  
Cosmo: (shrugs) Worth a try.  
  
Wanda: I've been practicing my magic too! I just need something to practice it on...  
  
Cosmo: Can do!  
  
[Cosmo waves his wand and a bottle of ketchup appears on Wanda's desk.]  
  
Timmy: Ketchup?  
  
Cosmo: Tastes great on everything! Especially cookies!  
  
[Wanda waves her wand. There's a small poof of smoke. The ketchup looks exactly the same.]  
  
Wanda: (delighted)YAY ME!  
  
Timmy: You didn't do anything!  
  
Wanda: [rolling eyes] Hello? I obviously turned it into Catsup! YAY!  
  
Timmy: (not impressed) You know I always thought you and Cosmo couldn't be any more different, but now I can see why you got married.  
  
Wanda: Hmmm. I still don't quite see it.  
  
Cosmo: (offended) Hey! I got loadsa great qualities, OK, I'm not the sharpest pencil in the box but -  
  
[Cosmo's desk suddenly wobbles. His chair legs suddenly buckle and he flies of the chair, pushing the desk over as he goes down. He ends up in a heap on the floor, half covered by the broken desk. Wanda bursts into hysterical laughter, so much so that she falls backwards off her chair]  
  
Wanda: [getting to her feet] Well you're funny, I'll give you that!  
  
[She giggles to herself and manages to float up to the air next to Cosmo. She hovers, and doesn't fall.]  
  
Wanda: I can fly?  
  
Timmy: She can fly!  
  
Cosmo: You can fly, you can fly, you caann fly!!!  
  
Timmy: Shhh. Keep the Peter Pan references to a minimum, do you want to get accused of copyright theft?!   
  
Wanda: I can fly!  
  
[She hugs Cosmo in delight, who hugs back. But then she remembers her situation and lets go.]  
  
Wanda: Nope, it's still too weird hugging you, Cosko.  
  
Cosmo: COS-MO! It's not rocket science, woman!  
  
[They are interrputed by a huge poof of smoke and a loud booming voice, who should appear but JORGEN VON STRANGLE!!]  
  
Timmy: (deadpan) Great. Perfect timing.  
  
Jorgen: Puny pink 'aired fairee! It iz time for yur trainin'! Now move and show me sum magik, you stoopid waste of wings!  
  
Wanda: (angry) EXCUSE ME! I have no idea who you are, but that was VERY RUDE! Now apologise for calling me a [imitates him] puny pink 'aired fairee!  
  
[Timmy and Cosmo smack their hands to their foreheads in frustration.]  
  
Jorgen: As good as yur impression ov me waz, HOW DARE YU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! I AM JORGEN VON STRANGLE! FEAR ME!  
  
Wanda: Jorgen Von Stupid more like.  
  
Jorgen: That's it. I gave yu a chance to beg! BUT NOW YU WILL PAAAAAAAAAAAY!  
  
Timmy: Please don't hurt her Mr. Strangle! She doesn't know what she's saying! She has ammnesia!  
  
Cosmo: I thought she just lost her memory?  
  
[They all turn to look at Wanda who is studying the fishbowl.]  
  
Wanda: This looks familiar. Was I a fish in a past life?  
  
Jorgen: Ammnesia? How?  
  
Timmy: (laughing nervously) Funny story...  
  
Jorgen: I do not care! She better be bak to normal by tomorrouw at noon! Or she will PAY! FIX IT!  
  
[Jorgen poofs out.]  
  
Wanda: Well HE was rude.  
  
Timmy: Oh my gosh! If we don't get Wanda back to normal by tomorrow she's dead! And I can't be stuck with JUST Cosmo as my God Parent! Agghhhh! THE HORROR!  
  
Cosmo: I'm floating right here, you know.  
  
Timmy: This is terrible! Cosmo, what if we actually erased it all?! She might never remember!  
  
Cosmo: Don't be so cynical Timmy, we might -  
  
Timmy: SHE CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER YOUR NAME!  
  
Cosmo: WE'RE DOOOOOOOOOOOMED!  
  
Wanda: You didn't erase it all.  
  
Timmy: (shocked) How do you know? Wait.....Do you remember something?! Someone?!  
  
Wanda: No.  
  
Timmy: DOOOOOOOOOOOMED!  
  
Wanda: But I know something. I know that everything works out, and for some reason I know you guys always help me.  
  
[Timmy and Cosmo exchange glances.]  
  
Timmy: How do you know that?  
  
Wanda: I don't know. But I trust it.  
  
Cosmo: Yeah! We just gotta keep trying.  
  
Wanda: [to Cosmo] Do you have any ideas?  
  
Cosmo: Wow. You really don't remember anything about me, do you?  
  
Timmy: I once read...  
  
Wanda: When you say "read", you mean, 'saw it on a cartoon', don't you?  
  
Timmy: Yes! You remember!?  
  
Wanda: No, but I'm getting to know you guys. You are predictable as cartoon characters.  
  
Timmy: Well I saw that if you hit someone on the head they lose memory, so maybe if we hit Wanda it'll work backwards and she'll get her memory back!  
  
Wanda: NO WAY!  
  
Timmy: COSMO!  
  
[Cosmo is floating behind Wanda with a baseball bat. He's swinging it at Wanda's head.]  
  
Timmy: BAD IDEA!  
  
Cosmo: Oohhhh. Darn it!  
  
[Cosmo lowers the bat but he loses control, it swings and hits him in the, ahem, privates. He collapses to the ground. Wanda also collapses to the ground, but in hysterics.]  
  
Wanda: Wow! That was the funniest thing that I've ever seen, not that I can remember many previous funny things, but it was still great!  
  
[She cuddles Cosmo, who despite wincing in pain, smiles to himself.]  
  
Wanda: Thanks for cheering me up.  
  
[She realises what she's doing, and breaks off the hug.]  
  
Wanda: Why do I keep doing that?  
  
Cosmo: (sing song voice) Because you love meeeee!!!  
  
[Wanda poofs up a big plastic shield. Cosmo attempts to hug her once more, but smacks into it. Wanda laughs again and poofs out a huge armchair, she sits on it.]  
  
Wanda: All this laughing makes me tired!  
  
Timmy: (shocked) Wanda! You did magic!  
  
Wanda: I did? [looks at the chair and the shield] I DID!  
  
Timmy: How?  
  
Wanda: I don't know! But I think I have an idea!  
  
...... 


	4. Chapter 4 You're Under A Vest!

What's A Wanda?  
  
(A/N, Stupid Trivial Fact #45. The title of this fanfic, comes from the episiode "Lovestruck" where Timmy wishes all the men and women lived seperately. Wanda disappears and Cosmo says "What's a Wanda?" and Timmy says "A wrestling move!". Ha. My favourite episiode! Had to pay tribute! Anyway...back to the story...)  
  
Chapter 4 - You're Under A Vest  
  
Timmy: What?! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard! Did you lose your memory AND a piece of your brain?!  
  
Wanda: I know! It's so silly! It sounds like something they'd put in a cartoon, but I think it might work.  
  
Cosmo: It sure is crazy enough! Crazy ideas save lives! No wait....I'm thinking of seatbelts...but we still should try this idea!  
  
Timmy: So, Wanda, lemme get this straight, your theory is that the reason you remembered how to do magic and fly again, is because laughing at Cosmo jogged your memory?  
  
Wanda: Uh huh!   
  
Timmy: I didn't think it was possible, but it sounds even stupider out loud.  
  
Wanda: I know, it's nuts! But how else do you explain my sudden ability to do magic?  
  
Timmy: (defeated sigh) I guess it's worth a shot...Cosmo, do something funny.  
  
Cosmo: (thinking) Did you hear the one about the guy who walked into a bar? He said ouch!  
  
[Silence.]  
  
Cosmo: That joke KILLED at my last mini golf tournament! You people have no appreciation of comedy! OK...fine, What did the cop say to his belly?  
  
[Timmy and Wanda lean forward and smile in anticipation of the joke.]  
  
Cosmo: YOU'RE UNDER A VEST! HAHA! [bursts into hysterics.]  
  
Wanda: (deadpan) That was bad.  
  
Timmy: (deadpan) That stunk.  
  
Cosmo: Maybe you don't get it, you're under a vest? You're under arrest? (excitedly) He's a cop! Get it? Get it? Huh? Huh? You get it? Huh?  
  
Wanda: Ooh we get it. It just sucks.  
  
Cosmo: Oh no! I'm not funny anymore! [starts to cry] I need a tissue!   
  
[Cosmo poofs out a tissue, only it doesn't go to plan and somehow his hand catches on fire. He screams, flying around the room aimlessly, before dunking it into the fishbowl, sighing with relief. Wanda blinks her eyes, then bursts into hysterics.]  
  
Wanda: Hahahahahaha! I love physical comedy, Cosmo!  
  
Cosmo: AHHHH! She remembered my name! It's WORKING!  
  
Timmy: Wanda, turn my bed into a trampoline!  
  
[Wanda aims her wand at the bed, at to the amazement of everyone, it turns into a trampoline!]  
  
Timmy: WOW!  
  
Wanda: WOW!  
  
Cosmo: NOODLE!  
  
[They stare blankly at him.]  
  
Cosmo: So I don't like following the pack? Sue me.  
  
Wanda: No, and you hate noodles because when you were five you refused to eat them, claiming they looked like freakishly long worms.  
  
Cosmo: AGGHH! She remembered!  
  
Wanda: I remembered?!  
  
Timmy: You remembered! Quick, Cosmo, keep being funny!  
  
Cosmo: What do you call a -  
  
Wanda: (interrupting) NO! That's not funny. You have to hurt yourself! That's funny!  
  
[Cosmo hesitates.]  
  
Cosmo: OK. But only because I love you!  
  
[Cosmo drops an anvil on his head. He collapses. Wanda giggles.]  
  
Wanda: (thinks) Timmy! You keep your money in a shoebox under your bed, it's labelled 'NOT MONEY'.  
  
Timmy: That's right - And what was I thinking with the shoebox thing?! Anyway, COSMO! KEEP GOING!  
  
[Cosmo bangs his head against the wall.]  
  
Wanda: Mildly amusing, but you can do better!  
  
[Cosmo bangs her head against the wall so hard, he goes through the other side.]  
  
Wanda: Now THAT'S funny! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!  
  
[Hours past. We join Timmy, Wanda and Cosmo again. Cosmo is in a heap on the floor, Wanda is in hysterics, Timmy is thinking up questions to ask her.]  
  
Wanda: ....and that's why you hate clowns!  
  
Timmy: No! That's wrong!  
  
Cosmo: (tired) Can I stop now? I've been mauled by just about every animal on earth with teeth - some without! Been flattened and squashed by everything mildly heavy, eaten every kind of slimy food there is, set myself on fire and even gave myself a wedgie! Is your memory back yet?!   
  
Wanda: (sadly) No I still have a few gaps.  
  
Cosmo: But...but...my pancreas hurts! And I don't even know what a pancreas is!  
  
Timmy: (miserably) She still can't remember a lot. She only seems to know trivial, stupid facts about everything. Nothing important is coming out.  
  
Wanda: Don't worry Timmy, you did your best, sweetie.  
  
Cosmo: What about my best! Have you ever tap danced barefoot on steaming coals?! IT'S NOT EASY!  
  
Timmy: No. This is all my fault! I never should have made that dumb wish. It was such a silly thing to do!  
  
Wanda: Timmy, don't beat yourself up! You had no idea this would happen! From what you told me, I sounded pretty harsh on you after the smoothie thing. I should have apologised.  
  
Timmy: No! I should have! I should have just faced you and apologised for what I did. I'm sorry Wanda, I really am. I didn't mean to upset you. I should have listened to you, especially after your bad day. Can you ever forgive me for all this?  
  
Wanda: (warmly) Sure can sweetie. You're my God child. (grins) Besides....I have something to say to you aswell.....  
  
.... 


	5. Chapter 5 Two Flashes Required

What's A Wanda?  
  
Chapter 5 - Two Flashes Required  
  
..  
  
Timmy: (shocked) Did you just say....Your memory's back??!!!  
  
Wanda: Yep!  
  
Cosmo: OK, then what's my full name?  
  
Wanda: Cosmo!  
  
Cosmo: She's right! YAY! Her memory is back! My pancreas can finally rest!  
  
Timmy: This is incredible! You remember everything?!  
  
Wanda: (smiling) Everything!  
  
Timmy: What's my most embarrassing secret that only you know?  
  
Wanda: You once thought it would be funny to go to Trixie's house wearing nothing but a -  
  
Timmy: (nervously) OK! I believe you! [looks nervously at Cosmo's reaction]  
  
Cosmo: [to Timmy] It's not big, and it's not clever.  
  
Timmy: Wow Wanda! Do you think when I apologised it was so heart warming that your memory returned after you were so overwhelmed by my sentiment? Like in some sort of cheesy cartoon?  
  
Wanda: Erm. Maybe.   
  
Timmy: Yeah! That's gotta be it! I'm just glad your back! Cookies for everyone!  
  
[Cosmo and Timmy embrace Wanda.]  
  
Cosmo: Yay! My wife won't be calling me a moron anymore!  
  
Wanda: I wouldn't be so sure about that.  
  
Cosmo: Yay! My wife won't be calling me a moron in a non-loving way anymore!  
  
Timmy: I can't believe it! I can't believing the power of an apology was able to restore your memory!  
  
Wanda: Uhh yeah. (Quietly) Or maybe I never lost it in the first place and just manipulated you into apologising. OK! HOW ABOUT THOSE COOKIES!  
  
Timmy and Cosmo: (angrily) WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?  
  
Wanda: (sheepishly) Erm. Cookies?  
  
Cosmo: [wipes forehead in relief] Phew. I thought you just said you only pretended to lose your memory in a manipulated attempt to get Timmy to apologise for the smoothie accident, humiliating both of us in the process.  
  
Wanda: Oh. And that too.  
  
Timmy and Cosmo: (shouting) WANDA!  
  
[They both lunge at her, but she darts out of the way.]  
  
Wanda: (angrily) Hey! Let me explain!  
  
Timmy: (annoyed) I can't believe you did that!  
  
Wanda: Well Timmy if you had apologised in the first place -  
  
Timmy: Wait...how did you do that? Cosmo granted my wish! And you couldn't have heard me wish for it!  
  
Wanda: [backing away from a very angry Cosmo.] Well if you let me explain....  
  
Cosmo: I stood on the roof and acted as a lightning rod for no reason?  
  
Wanda: Well - I thought that was just funny.  
  
Timmy: I can't believe you tricked me! You better start explaining!  
  
Wanda: OK! Fine! I was really mad after the smoothie thing, but mainly upset because you completely ignored me when I asked you to stop and then laughed at me! It was humiliating! You're my God kid! You're supposed to love me! It was a horrible day with Jorgen and the only thing keeping me going was knowing I was coming home to people who loved me for a nice evening! But that wasn't what I got! and I was so sad when you didn't come apologise. I wanted you to feel bad about it!   
  
Timmy: (sheepishly) Yeah, I guess I was out of line.  
  
Cosmo: What about me? I didn't do anything, but you still made me do all that nasty stuff!  
  
Wanda: Didn't do anything? You were practically encouraging Timmy! We're supposed to support each other Cosmo! But I got no support yesterday, did I?  
  
Cosmo: (sheepishly) No. But you still went kinda far with using me to make you laugh!  
  
Wanda: Yeah, but it was funny! Isn't that what you said about the smoothies, Cosmo? Something about making a mess being hilarious?  
  
Cosmo: OK blah blah blah. Point made, but I'm still mad at you! [He turns his back on her, stern expression on hus face.]  
  
[Wanda kisses Cosmo on the cheek. He weakens slightly.]  
  
Wanda: (softly) You were so sweet to me, honey. Trying to teach me magic again and helping me fly, doing all those stupid painful stunts just because you love me. You never gave up on me. I was so impressed! I love you, Cosmo. I'm sorry I put you through all that.  
  
[Cosmo weakens and turns around to hug Wanda.]  
  
Cosmo: Aghh! Why do you make being mad at you so hard?! I love you too. I forgive you!  
  
Timmy: (annoyed) Well that was the biggest pile of sap I've ever seen.  
  
Wanda and Cosmo: Thank-you!  
  
Wanda: So Timmy, you forgive me?  
  
Timmy: (sighs) Yeah. I guess. I'm sorry too.  
  
Wanda: That's OK, sport.  
  
Timmy: You're so evil! I'm glad your on our side! Wait..how did you know Cosmo granted the wish?!  
  
Wanda: Well I saw the flash of light and I knew Cosmo had granted a memory eraser wish. A flash of bright light only ever happens after magic is used to erase memory. It didn't work though, you're supposed to see TWO flashes of light, so I knew whatever he did had gone wrong.  
  
Cosmo: [slaps forehead] Oh yeah, TWO! That's the number after 1, and before 3!  
  
Wanda: I just came back into the room and pretended I lost my whole memory, playing along until I found out what you wished for. When I found out you had tried to erase my memory to get out of apologising to me, I decided to teach you a lesson. It just got a bit out of hand [giggles]  
  
Timmy: Yeah! So that's why Cosmo couldn't reverse the wish! Because he never granted one in the first place!  
  
Wanda: You got it!  
  
Cosmo: Wait, what about Jorgen? Weren't you scared talking to him like that!  
  
Wanda: Yeah, I was terrified! But I've always wanted to tell off that brute! I saw my chance and took it, and I knew you guys would tell him about my memory loss!  
  
Cosmo: Jorgen von Stupid, ha! That was pretty funny!  
  
[The trio laugh]  
  
Wanda: Well I'm glad we're all friends again!  
  
Timmy: Yep! But next time, Wanda, if I don't apologise, just yell at me!  
  
Wanda: Will do, sport! OK, I gotta get back to my training, Jorgen will be here soon!  
  
[POOF! Jorgen appears, perfect timing as always]  
  
Jorgen: Ready for yur trainin', puny fairee?  
  
Wanda: Yes Sir!  
  
Jorgen: And I hop' yur memoree is bak?  
  
Wanda: Yes Sir! I am fine now, Sir!  
  
[They notice Cosmo is setting up the blender.]  
  
Cosmo: Who wants a smoothie?!  
  
Wanda and Timmy: Cosmo! NOOOOOOO!   
  
[Cosmo switches on the blender and, dejavu, the smoothie covers Jorgen.]  
  
Wanda: Uh oh.  
  
Cosmo: Don't worry!   
  
[Cosmo Waves his wand, there's a flash of bright light. Jorgen is disorientated.]  
  
Cosmo: Ha! I did another memory spell! And I'm pretty sure it worked! Jorgen Von Stupid won't remember anything! Ha! What a moron!  
  
[Timmy slaps his forehead in frustration. Wanda sighs.]  
  
Wanda: Cosmo, memory spells only work when there's TWO flashes of light. I just told you!  
  
Cosmo: [slaps forehead] Oh yeah, TWO! That's the number after 1, and before 3! Wait...that means....  
  
[He looks worriedly at Jorgen, who is very angry]   
  
Cosmo: Hi Mr Strangle! You may have heard me call you stupid, a moron and an idiot -  
  
Jorgen: You didn't say idiot?  
  
Cosmo: Well, not out loud. [clamps hand over mouth] OOPSIE!  
  
Jorgen: [to Wanda] Puny pink 'aired fairee, trainin' is OVER FOR YU! I will just take this puny greeeeen 'aired fairee instead!  
  
[He clamps a large muscular hand around Cosmo, who squeaks in fright.]  
  
Jorgen: I hope you like Wand-ups.  
  
[There's a poof and both disappear, Cosmo is heard screaming in the distance. Wanda and Timmy stare at each other.]  
  
Wanda: So, how about those cookies?  
  
Timmy: I'll get the milk!  
  
!!THE END!!  
  
A/N - Hope everyone who read this story enjoyed it, and thanks to those who reviewed! I love you! Mwah! Smoothies for you all! The inspiration of this came from the FOP episiode where they go back in time to find out why Crocker is a meanie, "The Secret Origin of Denzel Crocker" I believe it's called (great episiode!)...Anyway Cosmo ends up erasing his and Wanda's memories with a little machine! I just thought it would be funny to do a story like that! I also wanted a chance to show off all the stupid jokes I know! Hee Hee!  
  
Thanks again. Remember, always apologise after arguments! Or sneaky pink haired fairies might make you pay!  
  
- BouncingBall 


End file.
